


lonely queen

by Grazzi



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Post conquest, hinoka is sad and i'm sad, lonely queen hinoka crying over dead brothers, with her small lil sis sakura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 15:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grazzi/pseuds/Grazzi
Summary: hinoka is not ready to be a queen, nor is suited to be





	lonely queen

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sad, hinoka makes me emo and i get sad when i think about conquest bc i just love hinoka too much  
> i'm sorry in advance for bad writing
> 
> follow me on twitter: @mgrazzin

It’s from the mistakes of others that makes the guilt eat her alive. Hinoka has no time for mourning; grieving for someone who failed and tried self-redemption by taking their own life is a bad omen. One should never mourn  _ seppuku _ . 

However, how can Hinoka no mourn when she’s seen the intent gazes the palace-workers and citizens give Sakura and herself, her sister pretends to be blind for outsiders’ rudeness, and Hinoka realizes how much has her youngest—and now her only—sibling matured. Even more than herself, trapped inside her own flow of consciousness. Both her brothers failed, she's also doomed to fail.

They lay together in bed for the nightmares not reach them. Doesn’t work, Sakura’s small sobs makes Hinoka sleepless from fear of failing her like their brother. The older girl tries to reason with herself, if she doesn’t sleep, she’ll have to deal with the consequences of being awake overnight at her own coronation. Hinoka hugs Sakura tighter in a failed attempt to cover her own fears.

Somewhere between sobs, Sakura’s weak voice from sleep snaps her sister from her own torment. “Why are you crying?”

Hinoka sucks on her breath, since when is she crying? “I’m not crying.”

“Big girls don’t cry,” Sakura’s fingers are so soft wiping the tears from her face, it’s ironic, really, how her little sister turned to be her encouragement to keep her strong façade slightly fading, “You shouldn’t cry the night before your big day.”

The words sound, oh, so melancholic coming from her mouth. It’s not a big day if it meant someone died for it to happen, it’s not a big day when Hinoka has to carry the burden of both of her brothers failure. Tomorrow should be a day of grieving from the loss of the not, not her coronation as the new ruler of Hoshido.

“You’re right, Sakura” Hinoka releases her breath. She closes her eyes and sleeps with the title weighting on her shoulder.

Hinoka wakes up feeling more heavy than when she slept, Sakura still asleep at her side. Maids’ robes rustle on the wooden floor and their socks-covered feet make an unsettling choir of fast-paced thumps that match the beating of her own heart. She’s not ready for the day to begin, she’ll never be ready for the day to come.

Three maids burst into the room.

“Lady Hinoka, you need to wake up,” one of them says, “You need to be ready in your coronation robes as fast as possible.”

Sakura finally opens her eyes, and Hinoka understands the panic-filled look she giver her. Suddenly, the soon-to-be-queen feels herself powerless because of the event before them.

“You need to excuse us, Lady Sakura,” another maid interrupts, “You aren't supposed to be here now.”

With a silence, shy and almost childish reluctance, she leaves the room with heavy steps. Hinoka feels remorseful, she indulges herself to stay still and quiet while the maids do their job.

The vests she's been request to wear for the ceremony are too similar to Mikoto's and thus the guilt gnawing her insides heightens. The blue details are replaced with red ornaments, the crown behind her head with six spikes instead for three.

As the handmaids finish the job, they excuse themselves to finish other tasks around the palace. Their whispers of the crown princess falling on deaf ears as they have their exit.

Hinoka feels hopeless.

She drags herself to Sakura’s room, her little sister is expecting her quietly, her face looking older than her actual age and she’s tired.

“Sakura,” Hinoka sighs, “Are you ready?”

“We still have time,” Sakura’s voice is weaker than normal, afraid of what may happen as the day goes on, and who can blame her? Hinoka fears the same. “Are you okay, sis?”

She's not. “I'm not sure,” the older says. Sakura understands to not push the subject too far, neither of them are okay and it's not easy to maintain the posture.

“Sorry.”

Hinoka kneels to level herself with her sister, “It's fine, we can do it together. You can help me being queen.”

“What will happen with us now?” Sakura stares at her lap, “Do you know how to rule a kingdom, Hinoka?”

Hinoka forces a smile, “I've seen Mother and Father doing it, it mustn’t be so hard,” lying to herself does not feel right, especially when neither of them can believe. Seconds after, her face turns into a mess of regret, loss and hurt blended together. Hinoka gulps, her shoulders become heavy and she rests her head on Sakura’s lap, “I can’t do it, I have no idea how to be a queen.”

Sakura feels her garments soaking up.

“Sakura, how will I be a good queen? I’ve never had classes to be a queen,” Hinoka hugs quer little sister tighter, “Mother and Father aren’t me to properly teach me; Ryoma is dead, I can’t ask him advices. Half of Hoshido doesn’t trust me, and the other half thinks I will fail just like older brother did. I think I have to agree with them, there’s nothing I can do, if he failed, I’m doomed to fail, too. I'm all alone with a burden I can't carry.”

“You're not doomed, Big Sister. You're strong and good in everything you do, you're the best pegasus rider in Hoshido,” Sakura starts caressing Hinoka's thick red locks. She sniffs and breathes deeply to keep her voice from cracking, gulping her own crying, “And you do know the basics, Ryoma would talk with you about being a King all the time, you just need to remember what he'd say to you when you were sparring. You’ll never know if you can if you just give up now.”

Hinoka's grip lightens, she's calmer.

“Also, remember that you're not alone; you have me, I can help you, we can do this together.”

“When did you grow up?” Hinoka jokes, between small hiccups, easing her crying, allowing her shoulders to drop and normalizing her breathing, “Although you’re right.”

Sakura smiles, “I miss them, Big Sister.”

“Me too. Everyone.”


End file.
